A Best Friend

For children, Christmas is a magical holiday---filled with elaborately decorated trees, endless trays of baked goods and candies and presents that appear from a mysterious red robed man from the frozen north. As we grow into adults, however, Christmas tends to lose its magical nature. It becomes more about money, family obligations, and desperately trolling department stores for the best bargain. We forget those cherished elements of Christmas that made our eyes light up in merriment as a child.

But ask any adult what their favorite Christmas present was as a child and it’s a sure bet that twinkle will reignite behind their eyes. I was blessed to receive the best present of my life early on---for my third Christmas.

My dad was born and raised around dogs…..namely German Shepherds. After all, what boy’s life isn’t complete without a dog? Anyone who grows up with a dog understands the immense value they bring to the lives of both children and adults. It only made sense then that he would want a similar furry friend for his daughter to grow up alongside.  

In December 1989, just two months shy of my 4th birthday, Santa left a humble cardboard box on our doorstep with my new best friend curled up inside….Cody the Keeshond. 

She was little more than a wet nose and ball of fur…..but she was my very first puppy. I don’t remember that first morning we met but I always look back through the pictures fondly. We didn’t seem to quite know what to make of each other, but there was clear love for her in my eyes. 

If you’ve never had a dog as a pet, you can’t possibly understand how quickly and thoroughly they enrich one’s life. And if you have had one, there are never enough words to convey what they mean to you. Dogs teach us the true meaning of unconditional love---long before another person does. They teach us trust and loyalty. They show us how sometimes the simplest things in life, like someone coming home at the end of the day, can elicit the greatest joy. Dogs don’t stress about the big things in life…or even the small things for that matter. All they want is a bowl of food each day and the occasional belly rub or pat on the head. If you were to put your dog and your spouse in the trunk of your car for an hour, I can tell you right now that only one of them will still look as happy as ever to see you when you open it back up. No matter how many problems you have in your life, you usually don’t ever come home to problems with your dog. In many ways, dogs are just little furry people that tag along behind us all the time. They have their own vibrant personalities and traits that we grow to know and love as the years pass.

Cody became a member of the Middlestead family in December of 1989. For 13 glorious years she lit up the lives of everyone who came in contact with her. Then that moment came---the only bad time in a dog owner’s life---when we had to tell her goodbye. I spent one of my last afternoons with her laying in the grass out by my playhouse while I read Summer of the Monkey’s by Wilson Rawls. For those who don’t know, he is the same author who wrote Where the Red Fern Grows, a story that epitomizes the love and companionship between a dog and his owner. She had little energy and was clearly not feeling well at the time, but I like to think it meant something to her spending that time with me in the grass.

On June 17, 2002 Cody left us to run, play and eat as much as she wants in the best place possible. No time with any dog is long enough, but the love, compassion, friendship and joy they instill in us stays with us until the end of our days. I was so pleased to hear the other day that Pope Francis once again set himself apart from traditional Catholic theology by announcing that all dogs do go to heaven. “One, day we will see our animals again in the eternity of Christ. Paradise is open to all of God’s creatures," he said.

One day I hope to see Cody’s smile again and to finish the story we started together so many Christmases ago.

Love is Love...

A few days ago as I was scrolling my Facebook newsfeed, I came across a picture of two handsome men standing together holding hands. The left hand of one of the men was elevated slightly to show off a silver band on his ring finger. Both of their faces absolutely radiated happiness. The status accompanying the photo announced that one of the men had proposed to the other while they were out hunting for their perfect Christmas tree together. His response? "Of course I will!"

My first thought at seeing this post was, what a beautiful proposal! My next thought was how much I loved seeing that man proudly showing off his ring and demonstrating for all its significance.

Last week a federal judge overturned Montana's same sex marriage ban, making it the 34th state in the nation to allow such unions. All day long I watched as enthusiastic reactions to this news piled up on Facebook. I have been a devoted admirer of Montana my entire life, but on that particular day, I felt especially proud to call Montana home.

There are plenty of differing opinions on the subject of same sex marriage. From my observations, most of the people against it stand in opposition because they believe it desecrates the sanctity of the true definition of marriage. Most definitions of marriage are derived from scripture and because gay marriage strays from the traditional concept, it seemingly must also go against the will of God.

For several years before my baptism into the Catholic church, I struggled with the notion of joining for a number of reasons. One of those was because of the church's characteristic opposition to gay marriage. It didn't seem right to me to join a faith that was so openly against something I fully supported. I felt like I needed to agree with everything the church taught in order to join.

The more I considered joining the church, however, the more frequently I began attending Mass. And the more readings from scripture I heard, the more I felt drawn to the faith. Maybe it's the fact that I'm a writer that makes me turn more to the written word than the preached interpretations of it. And being a writer, I know just how many ways one can interpret a piece of writing.

During one of my RCIA classes, one of the instructors explained that Catholicism is the "thinking man's religion." It is meant to be questioned and thought about. If it wasn't, why else would Jesus have taught by way of parables? God won't hand us all of the answers to our questions about life.....he doesn't want to. He wants us to think and rationalize and come to see things for ourselves.

After thinking and rationalizing about my new faith----or rather the one that was always in me but took a while to come to light---I still find myself arriving at the same conclusion and stance on same-sex marriage. My opinion is that it should be supported even if it is not accepted.

Each of us is an entirely unique creation. That, I believe, is far more than deliberate on God's end. Christ taught compassion, unconditional love, complete acceptance and forgiveness. He didn't exactly play by the rules of the day either. He pushed buttons and went against the grain. He embraced the outcasts of society and extended an olive branch to those who hated him. And he paid the ultimate price by sacrificing his own life for all of us. ALL. Those who supported and followed him.....those who were unwilling to accept his ways.

I believe that each minority in society was placed here as a test and continued challenge for all of us. None of us are meant to walk this earth alone and unloved. But so many do because they are despised and ostracized for their differences. Even if we can't learn to accept everyone's uniqueness and chosen lifestyle, we should strive to support such things because that is a demonstration of compassion that this world desperately needs.

It was hard coming into a faith that is, at times, in opposition to some of humanity's individuality. But I realized that standing on the outskirts of something you wish would change and simply shaking your head at it, does absolutely nothing. Immersing yourself into it with the hope of enlightening others to an alternate way of thinking, however, provides an opportunity for growth and change. I believe this is true for most anything. Two thousand years ago, when God realized humanity needed salvation, he didn't send a mystical and incomprehensible entity to earth. He sent an average seeming man to walk among men and show them another way of thinking and living. Change must often occur from within and it is only possible when we are willing to look at life through someone else's eyes.