Most kids go through some phase of fantasy play growing up,
but for me, it was daily life. My parents probably felt blessed beyond words at
bringing a little blond hair blue eyed daughter into the world. What they didn’t
realize until later, however, was that I would transform into so much more than
that.
For my mom, who stayed home with me most of my childhood,
everyday must have been an adventure to see which costume I would come
barreling out of my room dressed in. Unlike most little girls, I was never
content being just a pretty princess in a billowing gown with tulle and
rhinestones everywhere…..although there was still plenty of that. I was simply
never content playing any one character. My imagination was ever expanding and
I never stopped dreaming about who I wanted to be next.
Some days I was a pioneer traveling across the prairie in a
covered wagon. Other days I was a dancing doll in the Nutcracker Suite. There
were days I’d dawn a straw cowboy hat and boots and play a tough cowgirl and
then others when I was dressed head to toe in bright green in my Ninja Turtle
costume.
And of course, the crème da la crème of my get ups was the
custom made Little Mermaid costume my mom had made just for me. Growing up, The
Little Mermaid was my absolute favorite Disney movie….well, still is actually.
According to my mom, I wore that Ariel costume everywhere---even the grocery
store. I’m smiling right now thinking about what an amazing mother it took to
take her daughter shopping for milk and eggs dressed as a mermaid, especially
when Halloween was months away. Thinking back on it, Ariel was the perfect
character for me to assume. Ariel was a mermaid stuck in one world and identity
but she was always dreaming, and reaching, for more.
As I got a little older and started taking ballet lessons,
my favorite month of the year was May when our spring performance was held. I’d
sit on the floor in my frilly tutus and leotards looking longingly through the blue
velvet curtains at the older dancers pirouetting across the stage. They were
such lovely creatures and I wanted to look just like them when I was older.
This past weekend, I finally became one of those beautiful
creatures that little girls look up at and oooh and aaaah over. I went bridal
dress shopping for the first time in Bozeman. It probably came as no surprise
to my mom and grandma, who accompanied me, that all I wanted to try on were the
big poofy dresses. I’d been trying on dresses in the shop for a while when
another group of ladies walked in. Accompanying them was a little girl about 3
or 4 years of age. I slipped in the dressing room to put on another gown while
they continued browsing. When I came out, the women were right outside the
dressing room admiring a dress one of them had tried on. But when the little girl
turned her head and saw me floating by in my yards of tulle to step up onto the
pedestal, her reaction was priceless. She had the biggest smile on her face and
kept saying “Look at her! Look at her!”
I didn’t find the dress of my dreams that day, but I do
recall smiling from ear to ear when I saw that little girl’s face. To her, I
probably was a real princess…..the real life version of everything she imagined
herself being when she played dress up at home. Her reaction was the only one
that mattered to me that day. And if I’d hung around her a little longer, I
probably would’ve been convinced into buying that first dress she saw me in.
Despite the fact that I’m all grown up now, I still love
playing dress up and taking pictures of myself. Even if just to spawn laughter
from my best friend, and fellow dress up pal for life, Jamie. But on that day
in the bridal shop, I played dress up for the first time when it wasn’t make
believe. I finally realized that I was looking for the perfect costume for the
one day I get to be a fairytale princess in real life. And that’s why finding
the right dress….”the one”…..is so very important to me.
Here’s to the continued search for the ultimate dress up
gown!
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