Be one who walks with confidence....

There are so many opportunities to be had in this life....so many dreams worth chasing after. And with the dawn of each new day, we are blessed with yet one more chance at everything we ever wanted and then some. But what stops so many of us from achieving greatness or happiness or love or success or memorability? I believe it is simply a lack of confidence in ourselves--a persistent doubt in the person God destined us to be and instilled with all the qualities and fight necessary to reach our highest potential.

When I used to meet people for the first time and they asked me what I did for work, I would never say that I was a writer. I was afraid they would get that sympathetic look in their eye that tells you that the dream you're chasing is a lost cause and better left abandoned. I didn't believe myself in the beginning that I was a writer so I never said it out loud. Then last May at a graduation party, I sat down next to my dad who was talking to another guest at the party. After noticing me, my dad quickly introduced me to the man next to him. The very next thing he said was, "My daughter's a writer." It was the first time I had ever really heard someone say it out loud. I was a writer. It was at the moment that I realized that the first step to me becoming a writer was simply acknowledging that I was one.....and saying it loud and proud to anyone who asked. Confidence, despite all the naysayers and sad puppy dog eyes confronting you, is key.

Confidence in not only who you want to become, but the fact that you will be one of the best at it, is the next step. I saw a black and white picture of Muhammad Ali once frozen in a fighting stance. A quote emblazoned across the top of the photo said "I am the greatest. I said that even before I knew I was." One of the greatest professional boxers of all time didn't start out as one of the greatest professional boxers. But what led him to achieving greatness? Confidence.

This past October, I had the esteemed pleasure of taking a pilgrimage down south to Memphis, Tennessee with my father to visit Graceland---the home of a dreamer. For those who know my dad, you know he is a huge fan of Elvis. I grew up hearing about Elvis like he was a distant relative. He was present in biographies on the bookshelves, photos along the walls, and old rock 'n' roll tunes rolling off a record player in the basement. When my dad first mentioned us taking a trip to Memphis together, I thought it would just be so he could bombard me with more Elvis memorabilia and history. I mean, I always thought Elvis was cool, but what was so important about seeing his house? What I discovered in Memphis was the ultimate power of a dream envisioned, believed in, and pursued after with every breath and ounce of strength in a man's body.

When I was in Memphis I saw photos of the little shack of a house that Elvis first grew up in in Tupelo, Mississippi. I drove by the public housing building where his family had to live when they first moved to Memphis. I stood in Sun Records, on the same tiled floor Elvis did, when he recorded his very first song. I saw the store window of the original Lansky's clothing shop, which later made custom clothing for Elvis. When Elvis first went there he didn't have a single dollar to pay for a shirt, but he told the owner that once he was rich he would come back and buy him out. I walked up the driveway to Elvis' beloved Graceland that he purchased at the astounding age of 22 years of age. And I hovered over the grave of the the King of Rock and Roll, a grave walked past by millions of people since his death.

In just a few short days, I saw what a man can accomplish in 42 years.....and it all started with a dream.....and confidence.

It doesn't matter who or what you want to be in this life. It doesn't matter how big or small, how certain or completely impossible your dreams might seem in the beginning. The only thing that will ever prevent you from achieving any of it is a lack of confidence. Know who you are. Tell yourself that and everyone you meet everyday.....and don't your dare bat an eyelash or stutter when you do. This is your life....own it....with confidence.

Answers

I've been thinking a lot lately about the search for answers in life, especially since everyone around me seems to be in such a hurry to find them. The answer to that timeless question of, 'what am I supposed to do with my life?' seems to be a big one for some of the people in my life right now. They want to find what their passion in life is so that they can start working a job doing just that, and hopefully, never "work" a day in their life. But for the people who haven't found their passion yet, they feel frustrated in their failure at not having done so. I used to be one of these people.

Finding your passion requires courage, stubbornness, resilience, and dedication. It doesn't happen overnight and it is far from easy. And while the feeling of finally finding it is truly wonderful, I believe that the things you discover about yourself along the way and knowing that you stuck out and survived the journey at all instills a much greater feeling in you. Those are the parts that really matter. It sounds cliche to say this, but it really is about the journey not the destination.

And finding your passion doesn't mean the work is over. You still have to figure out what to do with it. I was told once that I needed to do something "good" with my writing. I believe that no matter what you discover you want to do with your life, you should try and do something good with it. I remind myself of that every day. People are so motivated by money and material possessions today and achieving a high ranked status in society. But when it comes time for you to leave this world, none of those things will matter or be remembered. How you changed people and the world around you for the better by what you did with your life is what will create your legacy.

When you look at it that way, you understand that figuring out what you're supposed to do with your life is a lifelong journey. You have to work at your passion every single day  and try to do the very best you can by it. You passion is your gift from God, so honor it.

I did find my passion and I am slowly figuring out what I want to do with it, but there are still unanswered questions in my heart about what I'm supposed to do with my life. And even though I've chosen to be a writer doesn't mean that's the only thing I want to be in my life. I believe that reinvention is so important to living life to the fullest. Hopefully we all find our one true passion in life, but that doesn't mean we have to ignore all of our other callings.

I was talking to a close friend the other day who told me about how excited her husband was to be approaching retirement. She just laughed and said that retirement is a concept that has never entered her mind. She wants to always be planning her next big adventure and trying her hand at another type of career or hobby. She  found her passion in life and has been doing it for over 20 years but that's not the only thing she wants to do and be. And not knowing what she'll spend the next 20 years doing is clearly exciting to her.

Don't worry if you haven't found your passion and decided what you  want to be when you grow up. The fact that you haven't should be exciting. And even when you do find some answers, continue to love the new questions that arise and the constant uncertainty of everything around you. The last line of a poem I wrote once said, "my only comfort is not knowing what will come," and I feel peace inside every time I realize how true that is.

Everything worth doing starts with being scared...

My old dance teacher---one of thee most inspirational people in my life---once quoted Art Garfunkel during a performance: “Everything worth doing starts with being scared.”  The quote stuck with me and I reflect on it whenever I am confronted by a challenge in life. I frequently think about it as I navigate along on my journey towards becoming a writer.

It took me nearly 22 years to realize that God put me on this earth to be a writer. Knowing that writing is not just my chosen profession but my PURPOSE, scares me to death every day. Writers are a ballsy, untamed, misunderstood, stubborn, resilient, and passionate bunch of individuals. You don’t choose to become a writer for money or fame or the hope that your books will someday be turned into a theme park. You don’t do it because it’s easy. You don’t do it because you are talented. You do it because you can’t live without writing. And no matter how hard the path of a writer is---and believe me it’s hard---and regardless of all the people and rationale that tempt you to turn back, you keep going because even though you’re scared, you know that your pursuit is worth it.

In high school and college I used to write in a journal. Now, I write for newspapers and anyone willing to publish me. This blog, whatever it turns out to be about, is my attempt at merging the secret meanderings of my heart with the daily observations of the world around me that I am always bursting to put in print. It will be a little bit of grace and a little bit of grit.