The Power of Envy

I think that everyone at some point in their life has lamented over feelings of failure and the accompanying hopelessness that no matter how hard they work, things will never change. I, personally, have been struggling with this a lot lately as have a few people close to me.

In recent years, I have watched several friends either land their dream job or venture into daring business endeavors. All have reaped nothing short of success and happiness from their pursuits. And while I don’t like to place too much emphasis on this point, monetarily, they make me look like the office bitch working 600,000 people below Bill Gates.  I have tried to be there for each of their big moments with praises and words of congratulations and good luck. Secretly, however, I’ve wanted to slap each of them hard across the face and scream, “That should be me!”  Just kidding! It’s not that I’m not happy for them, because I sincerely wish for nothing but happiness and good tidings for every person in my life; it’s just that sometimes I want to be selfish instead and focus on my own status quo.

I hate the feeling of envy worse than practically anything. You know you’re supposed to be happy about other people’s accomplishments, and you want to be, but then that damn feeling of jealousy creeps up and makes you feel like a bad person. The thing I have slowly come to realize, however, is that there are generally two types of jealous people in the world. There are those who play the part of the victim, walking around all day wondering why them and not me?  Yet they do absolutely nothing to change their circumstances. And then there is the other type….the one I think I more appropriately fall into. The other types are the people who don’t wonder why them and not be, but WHEN will it be me? These are the people who, despite a number of setbacks, discouraging remarks and momentary feelings of doubt, have trudged ahead in pursuit of their dreams working their ass off every step along the way. These people are like butterfly cocoons in spring….on the verge of bursting wide open and revealing something truly breathtaking.  

So basically the big difference amongst envious people is that some are productive and others aren’t. Are there people in my life I look at and feel extremely jealous over because of their accomplishments, success, and wealth? Absolutely. But do I ever look at them and think that that very same reality is impossible for me? NEVER! All of these successful people I keep referring to are extremely hard working, driven individuals. They earned every single thing they have. That’s one thing I will never joke about. But among these people, there isn’t a single one of them that I don’t 100% know that I can work just as hard as if not harder some days. So I know that all of the things they’ve achieved, I can also….it’s just taking me a tad longer.

I still feel jealous….and I still hate that I feel that way some days. But I keep trying to remind myself that I can either be a victim and stand on the sidelines giving people dirty looks for all that they have. Or I can use my pissed off feelings as motivation to work even harder at garnering some of that same success in my own life. Because just as my dad has always told me, he credits all of the success he’s had in his life to Elvis Presley. He looked at where Elvis started and how hard he worked to get where he ended up and became inspired to pursue his own dreams with as much determination. There’s nothing wrong with being envious, but use it towards your advantage.